Post by jag11 on Nov 26, 2008 17:14:08 GMT -5
Thom Bierdz, at the young age of 21, landed a starring role on THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS, which he played for three years.
As his third year on the soap ended, Mr. Bierdz’s life suffered a blow when Mr. Bierdz’s beloved mother was brutally murdered at the hands of his younger paranoid schizophrenic brother Troy.
Mr. Bierdz spent his late twenties and thirties in silent catharsis painting. Mr. Bierdz’s art (where he paints live in front of crowds) has raised over $100,000 for various charities.
In 2005 OUT magazine voted Mr. Bierdz “Best Emerging Artist, Los Angeles.”
In 2007 Mr. Bierdz published his award winning memoirs, “FORGIVING TROY,” recounting his journey to rediscover and love his incarcerated brother.
Mr. Bierdz has a gallery in West Hollywood and makes his living as an artist.
In the preface of your book it says, "Murder, madness and suicide are my family's legacy to me, but they also taught me love, faith, and forgiveness." Tell us about this journey.
I left Wisconsin when I was 21 and starred on the young and the restless when I was 24 to 27. When I left the show, my paranoid schizophrenic brother troy, 19, killed our wonderful mom with a baseball bat in her kitchen in Wisconsin.
Years later my only other brother killed himself. There is more schizophrenia in the Mr. Bierdz ancestry and even though I am not schizophrenic, I have had such overwhelming anxiety that left me afraid to leave the house.
I did leave it, but was always afraid I’d hurt someone’s feelings by looking at them wrong. My paintings have been my therapy. As far as my family hardships teaching me love, faith and forgiveness, when I reunited with my incarcerated schizophrenic brother 5 years after he killed mom, I realized nothing we could do would bring mom back, so I was able to be there for him as the big brother I never was to him. Forgiving Troy opened my heart.
What has forgiveness provided for you in your life?
An understanding that we all screw up, and what’s the use condemning or lecturing? I don’t believe in right or wrong, I now see things as productive or non-productive, so it has made me less judgmental, although I still judge – I am not perfect by any means.
What level of your awareness was present to the healing you were engaged in as you were writing the book?
When I wrote the book I had already seen the transformation of Troy from my visits, and seen my life transformed too. I wrote the book because I lived through unbelievable events and felt obligated to share the story. I tried to explain these events on talk shows in 6 minutes and I sounded crazy. It takes a whole book for the reader to understand that I am not crazy.
You do a lot of charity fundraising where you paint on site at fundraisers with celebrities? What has been your greatest experience raising money for charity?
When Debbie Reynolds and Ruta Lee gave me the first ever Key to the Light award in 2006 on behalf of the Thalians group for talking about mental illness and raising so much money for charities through my paintings. I love Debbie Reynolds.
You were a closeted soap star on Young and the Restless in the 80's. Do you think if you were a 25 year old soap star today that you would be closeted?
I am a natural rebel and came out to my family and friends at 18. I was urged by my representation 20 years ago to stay in the closet.
I imagine if I were 25 I would heed the advice of my agent and manager today and play it as they suggested, but their advice may be to come out – which would be so freeing. I would have been a better actor having that freedom and not feeling like I was hiding a secret from Hollywood.
Overburdened Mother: You didn't realize what you had painted until a friend pointed out that it seemed to be a representation of your mother and what your siblings had gone through.
What is the experience of being in the zone of creating a painting and then coming to the realization that you've created a representation of your family? In what way is this kind of creation a healing experience for you?
It is a zone, Jason. I am conscious, but I am listening to a part of my brain that says paint a figure here, use this color there, etc. I don’t question what I am told. I am so busy following these quick orders that I am not aware of how the piece is coming together.
I don’t ever stop and look at it and analyze it, I just keep my brush moving as I am told. When the directions stop, the piece is done, and then I examine it and am flabbergasted when I figure it out. It is like my subconscious painted it. I do all kinds of painting but this style, my expressionism, is most emotive.
You seem to be extremely prolific how do you maintain discipline?
I love a project. I dive right into it. I have created a life where I have few distractions that prevent me from following my creative pursuits so I have plenty of time as well. Also, I am not worried about making a mistake. I just love creating. I live for it.
If you had to say there is something you are offering to the world through your paining, what is it?
Well, I see my purpose through my painting as inspiring people to see a bigger world, like I see, form a wider perspective, with no need for anyone to feel powerless, and therefore no desire to hurt anything or another person.
You can find more information about Thom Mr. Bierdz and look at his art available for purchase at www.thombierdz.com
wehonews.com/z/wehonews/archive/printpage.php?articleID=2900
As his third year on the soap ended, Mr. Bierdz’s life suffered a blow when Mr. Bierdz’s beloved mother was brutally murdered at the hands of his younger paranoid schizophrenic brother Troy.
Mr. Bierdz spent his late twenties and thirties in silent catharsis painting. Mr. Bierdz’s art (where he paints live in front of crowds) has raised over $100,000 for various charities.
In 2005 OUT magazine voted Mr. Bierdz “Best Emerging Artist, Los Angeles.”
In 2007 Mr. Bierdz published his award winning memoirs, “FORGIVING TROY,” recounting his journey to rediscover and love his incarcerated brother.
Mr. Bierdz has a gallery in West Hollywood and makes his living as an artist.
In the preface of your book it says, "Murder, madness and suicide are my family's legacy to me, but they also taught me love, faith, and forgiveness." Tell us about this journey.
I left Wisconsin when I was 21 and starred on the young and the restless when I was 24 to 27. When I left the show, my paranoid schizophrenic brother troy, 19, killed our wonderful mom with a baseball bat in her kitchen in Wisconsin.
Years later my only other brother killed himself. There is more schizophrenia in the Mr. Bierdz ancestry and even though I am not schizophrenic, I have had such overwhelming anxiety that left me afraid to leave the house.
I did leave it, but was always afraid I’d hurt someone’s feelings by looking at them wrong. My paintings have been my therapy. As far as my family hardships teaching me love, faith and forgiveness, when I reunited with my incarcerated schizophrenic brother 5 years after he killed mom, I realized nothing we could do would bring mom back, so I was able to be there for him as the big brother I never was to him. Forgiving Troy opened my heart.
What has forgiveness provided for you in your life?
An understanding that we all screw up, and what’s the use condemning or lecturing? I don’t believe in right or wrong, I now see things as productive or non-productive, so it has made me less judgmental, although I still judge – I am not perfect by any means.
What level of your awareness was present to the healing you were engaged in as you were writing the book?
When I wrote the book I had already seen the transformation of Troy from my visits, and seen my life transformed too. I wrote the book because I lived through unbelievable events and felt obligated to share the story. I tried to explain these events on talk shows in 6 minutes and I sounded crazy. It takes a whole book for the reader to understand that I am not crazy.
You do a lot of charity fundraising where you paint on site at fundraisers with celebrities? What has been your greatest experience raising money for charity?
When Debbie Reynolds and Ruta Lee gave me the first ever Key to the Light award in 2006 on behalf of the Thalians group for talking about mental illness and raising so much money for charities through my paintings. I love Debbie Reynolds.
You were a closeted soap star on Young and the Restless in the 80's. Do you think if you were a 25 year old soap star today that you would be closeted?
I am a natural rebel and came out to my family and friends at 18. I was urged by my representation 20 years ago to stay in the closet.
I imagine if I were 25 I would heed the advice of my agent and manager today and play it as they suggested, but their advice may be to come out – which would be so freeing. I would have been a better actor having that freedom and not feeling like I was hiding a secret from Hollywood.
Overburdened Mother: You didn't realize what you had painted until a friend pointed out that it seemed to be a representation of your mother and what your siblings had gone through.
What is the experience of being in the zone of creating a painting and then coming to the realization that you've created a representation of your family? In what way is this kind of creation a healing experience for you?
It is a zone, Jason. I am conscious, but I am listening to a part of my brain that says paint a figure here, use this color there, etc. I don’t question what I am told. I am so busy following these quick orders that I am not aware of how the piece is coming together.
I don’t ever stop and look at it and analyze it, I just keep my brush moving as I am told. When the directions stop, the piece is done, and then I examine it and am flabbergasted when I figure it out. It is like my subconscious painted it. I do all kinds of painting but this style, my expressionism, is most emotive.
You seem to be extremely prolific how do you maintain discipline?
I love a project. I dive right into it. I have created a life where I have few distractions that prevent me from following my creative pursuits so I have plenty of time as well. Also, I am not worried about making a mistake. I just love creating. I live for it.
If you had to say there is something you are offering to the world through your paining, what is it?
Well, I see my purpose through my painting as inspiring people to see a bigger world, like I see, form a wider perspective, with no need for anyone to feel powerless, and therefore no desire to hurt anything or another person.
You can find more information about Thom Mr. Bierdz and look at his art available for purchase at www.thombierdz.com
wehonews.com/z/wehonews/archive/printpage.php?articleID=2900